The great teacher Brene Brown, says ‘choose discomfort over resentment’, which really means, ‘don’t say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’ and then regret it later.

Never is this more useful advice than when it comes to your relationship with ‘social’ arrangements. In a world that’s always switched on, where invitations are many and ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ abounds, it can be all too easy to end up doing things you’d rather not, with people you’d rather not do them with. Too often do you say ‘yes’ and find yourself somewhere wishing you’d said ‘no’.

So this is a time for discernment. If, when invited to do or join something social, you choose your yeses wisely, then you can take better care of your own needs AND save the spare time you do have for the things that matter and for people you really want to spend it with.

Here are some times when it’s absolutely OK to say ‘no’ to invitations, when everyone around you wants you to say ‘yes’:

  • It’s OK to say no… because you’re too tired and want to listen to your body and stay still.
  • Its OK to say no… because tired or not, you just want some time alone.
  • It’s OK to say no… because you just don’t do ‘that kind of thing’ anymore. Life moves on and our decisions and choices do too.
  • It’s OK to say no… because you don’t quite fancy what’s on offer; somehow though your rational mind would say yes, you’re just not feeling the vibe this time.
  • It’s OK to say no… because you don’t know yet.
  • It’s OK to say no… because the people you’d be spending time with just aren’t ‘your people’.
  • It’s OK to say no… because you have other plans.
  • It’s OK to say no… after you’ve said yes…for avoidance of doubt it is OK to change your mind.

Give this a try and I’d love to hear how you get on. You can get in touch on

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Take care for now, Laura

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