Life is dynamic; everything is in motion, especially we people and our energy. Relationships and loyalties ebb and flow over time, moving in relation to everything else, responding to the forces at hand.
As a coach, I’m always curious about this particular type of systemic motion. Clients regularly talk to me about ‘stuckness’, dis-ease and upset in their lives and very often this is connected to relationship dynamics. Through coaching work, we can begin to see more of what’s going on in such a situation. One of the ways we do this is by spatially mapping the question at hand, either literally or figuratively, making a ‘3-D representation’ of the system as such. This methodology highlights the often-unseen dynamics and unspoken truth of what’s happening, and from that place a move towards ‘better’ can be made.
When we work in this way, we’re particularly interested in how the elements of the system are relating to each other in three specific ways:
- Distance – how close or far away things are from each other
- Orientation – which way things are facing, and
- Direction – in which way they are moving, if at all.
These bits of data tell us huge amounts about the truth of what is, painful though it may be, and also give insight in to how, if desired, questions may be asked, challenges resolved, or stucknesses unblocked.
Over time, we can learn to ‘see’ the many systems of life in this way: teams, families, friendship groups, even organisations. When we do this, we can stand back and observe the realities, patterns and movements at play. We can begin to make some sense of the things that keep us stuck, let go of what’s unnecessary and take steps towards a healthier future state.
When we watch our world from the outside-in, as well as experience it from the inside-out, we strengthen; relationships deepen, we speak the truth more clearly, show more kindness towards others and lean into the tough stuff more gracefully.
When we see the system more clearly, we’re surer of our own place in it, more cognisant of what’s going on around us, aware of what belongs and what doesn’t.
It’s not always easy, but it’s clearer and more true.
When you consider the systems to which you ‘belong’ and the dynamics within these systems, there is so much to learn. Try these questions to start your enquiry:
- To what systems do you belong?
- To whom or what do you feel loyal?
- Where is your place?
- If you look at your life from the outside-in, what do you see?
- What patterns do you notice?
If you want to deepen your enquiry in to any of these questions or others, I’m available for one-to-one coaching sessions, where we can do this together.
Take care for now, Laura